I have found a bit time before going to eat to do a quick review.
First of.. Yeah, indeed off key!!! Ugh.

I'm not fund of that dance kick. Reminds me too much of trance.
In fact, I think this song would qualify more under trance than chiptune for that matter.
The beat is a very basic 4/4. I understand you've tried to do nice stuff with the hihats and stuff, but the bassdrum just pumps out of it. Also you could do more with this basedrum.
The melody could use some work too. Try to use silences between the notes to give it more space. It is now like a fire cannon that can't stop, and since that one note is nice, it just plays that note the entire time.
It has a few nice pieces, but overall, it has the same feeling which doesn't keep the fun in the song. After one listen, I'd not put it in repeat, if you know what I mean.
Ah dinner is ready, and I have basically said what I wanted to say.
