Just a couple of things;
First, I do like the rhythm of the piece; though it seems that at times the melody/harmony's syncopation to the rhythm becomes a little disjointed.
And speaking about the melody/harmony. . .
Second, Although I do understand the nature or, "imagery" of the piece, with the whole "EgyptHouse" thing, perhaps if you were going to go back and update this song you could try to differentiate more between the melody that we as listeners are supposed to follow, and the harmony that supports it. As it was stated earlier, at times the song does become a little difficult to follow.
In all though, with some more tweaking, this song is on the right track.
