Loosing a close person

[Louigi Verona]

Just want to share a bit of personal message, but because we all know each other for such a long time, somehow I've felt that I wanted to tell you about it and share this with you.

Friday, Jan 15th, my grandfather died, at the age of 76. He died from a heart attack which occured during a heated discussion at his job.
It is the first time when I've lost a close relative and although at first I got the news calmly, with time the wave of grief and nostalgia went over me.

I still cannot believe that I cannot talk to him anymore, that when I go back to Rostov, my native city, I will not see him and he won't invite me to go to his country house. I am thankful to the fact that I did call him by cellular regularly and I called him in December and also we exchanged New Year greetings. It's also great that my childhood and days at school, University and even later years were lived with him. Not everyone has a grandfather for such a long time.

He was a sailor, a mechanic, went all over the world in his time, visited almost every country. Our room in Rostov was full of things from India and other countries. In December, when I was told I'll be going to China, I called him to tell him that and ask him if he was there. He said he was not because at that time USSR had not such a good relationship with China - it is one of the two eastern countries he did not visit at his time. So I told him I'll go to China and fill in the blank space of our family :)

He was also very skilled with doing things from wood and he could draw well. I was told he played a guitar, but I've never seen him do that. We spent lots of time with him in his garden and in his garage, fiddling with the car. He had a gift of planting plants and trees well - it all just worked.

Anyway, he was always active. He always needed to do something and hated to just sit at home. This is why during his retirement he had active jobs, participated in political activities and stuff. He always said he wanted to die not ill in bed, but active. And I think it is good that his death was like it was - fast and during activity. It did catch us all a bit by surprise, since there was no indication, but... what can you say.
The way he lived when he was old is a good example for me, as his soul is always young. He, in fact, played Mario on Nintendo a lot (and very emotionally, too!).

So this is what I wanted to share. My parents and sister are now in Rostov, organizing a funeral and I decided I should go to China, since obviously grandpa would want that - the way he is he'd just tell me that there is nothing I can do for him now and that I should go see the world, just like he did.

:)

[Rxn]

Get your balls together, soldier.

[LPChip]

My condolences Louigy.

[psishock]

Hang in there Louigi.
I've lost 3 relatives this winter, but the life goes on. You cannot help them anymore, but you do can make the life of the living people better, and that's where i'm focusing.

[Sam_Zen]

Yep, Louigi, your journey goes on, so celebrate his genes you've got.

[Louigi Verona]

Thanks, guys!

[Nahkranoth]

Don't think of it much if you're one of them sensitive peoples. I got slight heart problems because of worrying too much. Find yourself a distraction of some sort, but not music.

[psishock]

pain and sorrow can be a great source of inspiration, i can assure you.

[Nahkranoth]

Not when there is too much pain, I can assure you as well
I made a track inspired (not the right word, but ...) by sorrow. It ended up sounding like funeral. I still can't listen to it.

[LPChip]

Music does help you to process emotions. So even if the result is still painful to listen to, I would advise you to do so. If you bury your emotions deep within you, they'll come out later anyway.

There's a reason why there's a moaning period. Get the emotions of your system, and be able to continue. If making music helps you with that, certainly do!

If it happens that over time you don't want to listen to the song because it sounds dull, then don't. If it makes you cry, then do.

I can assure you that!

[Rxn]

You are a bunch of tits, guys.

What does not kill you, makes you stronger.

[uncloned]

Sorry I didn't get to this sooner.

My condolences as well LV.

At least you can say he led a very full life from the sound of it. Not everyone does - or has the love of a grandson.

[TheEagle]

I know that I'm late, sorry....

My condolences as well, LV.

I know how you feel. I've lost my both grandfathers (fathers and mothers side) in 1996. It's always a tragedy to lose a beloved person, but life goes on...
(I know it's a hackneyed phrase, but nevertheless it's the truth.)

@Rxn:

Showing compassion has nothing to do with "t*ts", it's a sign of strength. Maybe you'll learn this when you're older...

[Rxn]

Showing compassion has nothing to do with "t*ts", it's a sign of strength. Maybe you'll learn this when you're older...

What is that strength you are talking about I learnt at the tender age of
13 years old.

That was when my father died.

[LPChip]

Rxn,

Are you really sure you processed such big loss?

I can't imagine so, and if this is the case sooner or later it will come out. Then you'll understand what we're writing here.