[Orchestral] Green-eyed Girl (.mp3)

[Oliwerko]

Hi there fellows,

The initial composition of this track has been lying on my HDD for months, and after the last 3 days I am finished.

It's by no means meant to be a 'serious' orchestral work. It's just that I used orchestral sounds, that's all.

I'd like any comments on the composition, sounds, panning, whatever you have in mind.

EDIT: The track is updated and complete, as I finished the album on which it appears. You can find the album topic here: http://forum.openmpt.org/index.php?topic=4715.0

You can find the track here:
http://olivermeres.hobbyart.sk/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/02-Green-eyed-Girl.mp3

Thanks for listening, and enjoy  :wink:

[TheEagle]

Hi.

As always, it's a matter of taste but I think this song is much, much better than your "In The Morning Air".
The composition and structure is ok to me, even if I would try to do some more changes in rhythm, melodic and/or chord progression.
The only thing that does not work in this song is (from my point of view) the hi-hat. Maybe I would put it more in the background or even delete it completely. I think it's not needed here...

But nevertheless, a nice and enjoyable song. Thank you for sharing, Oliwerko.

[Rakib]

I agree, the hihats are too loud and maybe should be changed or just remove the extended reverb.

And also the start of the song sounds bit primitiv/simple at the beginning but builds up to be the rest is just enjoyable to listen to.

[Oliwerko]

Thanks for listening and commenting guys,

TheEagle - regarding "In The Morning Air" - I'm still experimenting, this is the first orchestral song I've made, so - you know, it's still hard to tell what's coming next

I didn't change the rhythm and melody/chord progressions partly because I was afraid to, and partly because I liked it this way. I agree though that repeating the same chord progression over and over again is on the edge...

The drums in this one turn out to be the most bugging aspect of the track. Some people told me that they were boring, and there was not enough tension in the transitions ("I'd like to hear more variety from the drumkit.
The part with the flute was really beautiful, but the song didn't really let me know it was coming. It would be cool if you could kind of swell everything up and make it very intense right before it starts.")

This made me do some kind of experimenting:
http://oliwerko.ic.cz/Transition.mp3

But I don't really think that works.

Now you mention the hihat. I spent hours fiddling with its sound. I tried higher, lower, louder, quieter, everything; and this is the best I've been able to achieve.

I don't think cutting it out would be good, I still miss something there if I delete it completely. I tried lowering the volume a bit but I'm not sure it's the right solution either.

Maybe changing the sound for a less prominent and longer/quieter one would be right?

EDIT:
How about this? The latest attempt:

http://oliwerko.ic.cz/Cymb1A.mp3
or
http://oliwerko.ic.cz/Cymb17.mp3

I think I could go with either of these.

[TheEagle]

If I had to decide between those two, I would prefer the "1A" cymbal.

The transition sounds good to me, but why not playing around with some orchestral-percussions like timpani or some "march-alike" snare-drum-rolls (I don't know how they're called in English, sorry)?

[Oliwerko]

I guess I'll stick with 1A, that's what I found better too. Not having a cymbal there just bugs me.

And the transition - I know what drums you mean, I'll look for some. And the timpanis are there in the transition, actually, both a roll and hits  :wink:

EDIT:

I've experimented a bit. I've tried yet another drumkit:

http://oliwerko.ic.cz/OrchDrumkit.mp3

And also I've made edits to the transition:

http://oliwerko.ic.cz/Transition2.mp3


I don't know if it's any better, esp. the new drumkit. And while the transition may sound nice, is it really necessary?

Share your thoughts please  

[TheEagle]

Uhmm. I think I've been misunderstood. I don't meant that you should change the whole drumkit. It sounds ok to me with the "1A-cymbal".
I just wanted to suggest that you use orch-percs in addition to your drums. I think (e.g.) a timpani-roll like this here and there could help to let the drums sound more interesting...

[Oliwerko]

No, no misunderstanding here, it was just a little experiment (which confirmed that the original drumkit is better).

I've got some timpani rolls like that, I'll try and see where to put them...

EDIT:

Aaah, I guess I'll give up on this one and leave it as it is. That timpani rolls just suit nowhere and I don't like that transitions either.

Again, I fail to finish the song completely, because of this "stubborness" that I get after a certain point.

Nevertheless, thanks very very much for valuable input.
I have to say this track was a breakthrough, I never thought I could do anything purely orchestral. Expect more soon  :wink: