Who wants to review some of my stuff?

[SoundCrafter]

Hey guys. You guys (by which I mean all members of this forum, male AND female) are probably the best reviewers I've met in a while. While my computer's down, and I won't be getting my new one till March 3rd (OEM's are the DEVIL!), I'd like you guys to review some lyrics I wrote and a preview of a song:

Ok, so the lyrics aren't done yet, but I'm working vigilantly on them. I'm not starting any new ones till I finish all 3 of these:

Lotuseater: An ethereal piece, in the style of Sleepthief, almost. Inspired by The Odyssey, this is a 'fiction of a fiction':

"Lotuseater"
Stranded at sea for many a year
We finally ended our journey here
At first we were confused and afraid
Until they offered us peace for our days

"Consume this flower," he said unto me,
"Feel its power, I beg you join me."
My troubles then lost, as once we were
And I knew that again, I'd never see her.

[Chorus]
What lies are spoken, and truths never told
When we follow our hearts into that place of old?
For once we set foot in that shadowy grove,
We'll never return to the place we call home

[Verse 2]

Its power surrounds me, a lover's embrace
My ult'mate undoing, my final disgrace
I could not resist if my heart so desired
It rests in my soul, and burns like a fire

Our fruit grows scarce, too many consume
Is this my true fate, pray tell, am I doomed?
My sanity fleeing, no mere human being
I've succumbed to its grip, and become one of them...

[Planned: Bridge, then repeat the chorus again.]

Stare: A dark, moody trance piece. Should be nice:

"Stare"
She stares out a window
A question she ponders
Does he really love her
She knows, her mind wanders
He stares out a window...

Does she share a common thought,
What they thought was love was not,
But an object of beauty, haunting in memory...

He whispers...

[Chorus]
"Where are you going?
I wanna taste the air you breathe
Where are you going?
Please come back to me"

That's all I've got for that song, unfortunately. It's very hard to judge this song based on lyrics, because the piece will be VERY unique.

and finally a song: My first Reason song, Broken Theories, is available in preview form   on my Music MySpace account at //www.myspace.com/djsoundcrafter. I'd appreciate it if you guys would review it =]

[SoundCrafter]

Ze bump.