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Community => General Chatter => Topic started by: Louigi Verona on January 17, 2010, 14:33:21

Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Louigi Verona on January 17, 2010, 14:33:21
Just want to share a bit of personal message, but because we all know each other for such a long time, somehow I've felt that I wanted to tell you about it and share this with you.

Friday, Jan 15th, my grandfather died, at the age of 76. He died from a heart attack which occured during a heated discussion at his job.
It is the first time when I've lost a close relative and although at first I got the news calmly, with time the wave of grief and nostalgia went over me.

I still cannot believe that I cannot talk to him anymore, that when I go back to Rostov, my native city, I will not see him and he won't invite me to go to his country house. I am thankful to the fact that I did call him by cellular regularly and I called him in December and also we exchanged New Year greetings. It's also great that my childhood and days at school, University and even later years were lived with him. Not everyone has a grandfather for such a long time.

He was a sailor, a mechanic, went all over the world in his time, visited almost every country. Our room in Rostov was full of things from India and other countries. In December, when I was told I'll be going to China, I called him to tell him that and ask him if he was there. He said he was not because at that time USSR had not such a good relationship with China - it is one of the two eastern countries he did not visit at his time. So I told him I'll go to China and fill in the blank space of our family :)

He was also very skilled with doing things from wood and he could draw well. I was told he played a guitar, but I've never seen him do that. We spent lots of time with him in his garden and in his garage, fiddling with the car. He had a gift of planting plants and trees well - it all just worked.

Anyway, he was always active. He always needed to do something and hated to just sit at home. This is why during his retirement he had active jobs, participated in political activities and stuff. He always said he wanted to die not ill in bed, but active. And I think it is good that his death was like it was - fast and during activity. It did catch us all a bit by surprise, since there was no indication, but... what can you say.
The way he lived when he was old is a good example for me, as his soul is always young. He, in fact, played Mario on Nintendo a lot (and very emotionally, too!).

So this is what I wanted to share. My parents and sister are now in Rostov, organizing a funeral and I decided I should go to China, since obviously grandpa would want that - the way he is he'd just tell me that there is nothing I can do for him now and that I should go see the world, just like he did.

:)
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Rxn on January 17, 2010, 15:22:54
Get your balls together, soldier.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: LPChip on January 17, 2010, 20:14:49
My condolences Louigy.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: psishock on January 17, 2010, 20:34:39
Hang in there Louigi.
I've lost 3 relatives this winter, but the life goes on. You cannot help them anymore, but you do can make the life of the living people better, and that's where i'm focusing.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Sam_Zen on January 18, 2010, 03:36:14
Yep, Louigi, your journey goes on, so celebrate his genes you've got.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Louigi Verona on January 18, 2010, 06:53:24
Thanks, guys!
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Nahkranoth on January 18, 2010, 08:41:34
Don't think of it much if you're one of them sensitive peoples. I got slight heart problems because of worrying too much. Find yourself a distraction of some sort, but not music.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: psishock on January 18, 2010, 09:04:24
pain and sorrow can be a great source of inspiration, i can assure you.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Nahkranoth on January 18, 2010, 11:47:56
Not when there is too much pain, I can assure you as well :D
I made a track inspired (not the right word, but ...) by sorrow. It ended up sounding like funeral. I still can't listen to it.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: LPChip on January 18, 2010, 12:06:37
Music does help you to process emotions. So even if the result is still painful to listen to, I would advise you to do so. If you bury your emotions deep within you, they'll come out later anyway.

There's a reason why there's a moaning period. Get the emotions of your system, and be able to continue. If making music helps you with that, certainly do!

If it happens that over time you don't want to listen to the song because it sounds dull, then don't. If it makes you cry, then do.

I can assure you that! ;)
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Rxn on January 18, 2010, 12:29:46
You are a bunch of tits, guys.

What does not kill you, makes you stronger.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: uncloned on January 18, 2010, 14:24:03
Sorry I didn't get to this sooner.

My condolences as well LV.

At least you can say he led a very full life from the sound of it. Not everyone does - or has the love of a grandson.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: TheEagle on January 18, 2010, 16:04:31
I know that I'm late, sorry....

My condolences as well, LV.

I know how you feel. I've lost my both grandfathers (fathers and mothers side) in 1996. It's always a tragedy to lose a beloved person, but life goes on...
(I know it's a hackneyed phrase, but nevertheless it's the truth.)

@Rxn:

Showing compassion has nothing to do with "t*ts", it's a sign of strength. Maybe you'll learn this when you're older...
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Rxn on January 18, 2010, 16:28:39
QuoteShowing compassion has nothing to do with "t*ts", it's a sign of strength. Maybe you'll learn this when you're older...

What is that strength you are talking about I learnt at the tender age of
13 years old.

That was when my father died.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: LPChip on January 18, 2010, 16:44:07
Rxn,

Are you really sure you processed such big loss?

I can't imagine so, and if this is the case sooner or later it will come out. Then you'll understand what we're writing here.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Nahkranoth on January 18, 2010, 16:45:49
Tits? Where? slurp :-) (where is that 'love' smiley anyway?)
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: psishock on January 18, 2010, 17:41:58
there you go
(http://i47.tinypic.com/wqu70j.jpg)
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Nahkranoth on January 19, 2010, 08:50:51
Just one? It's not healthy that way.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: psishock on January 19, 2010, 19:08:19
omg you're totally right, i was just thinking for myself, because my mind is corrupt with futanari and tentacle rape stuff, so 1, 3 or more can be equally fun. Picture re-edited and apologies.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Nahkranoth on January 20, 2010, 01:16:36
Thanks, psi! It feels better now :-) Now it's the time fo' dem pussies, don't you think? :-D
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: psishock on January 20, 2010, 01:36:22
Nah, i think we had already gone far enough, lets leave it like this. :D
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Sam_Zen on January 20, 2010, 10:18:13
Right on.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Nahkranoth on January 20, 2010, 11:35:39
Yeah, totally forgot about the OP :retarded:
Title: Family Losses
Post by: Really Weird Person on January 20, 2010, 22:38:37
Family losses are not fun to deal with, but, as has been stated multiple times, life goes on. I have heard many (or at least quite a few) accounts of family members dying from my father (his father being one of them). The two that I remember are those of my grandmother and great-grandmother (on my mother's side). I do not remember as much about my great-grandmother's death though. Both people died in 2005. Hopefully things are going well in the life of Louigi Verona. See? I do have feelings for more than long songs and Daisy. :lol:
Title: Re: Family Losses
Post by: Nahkranoth on January 21, 2010, 08:57:54
Quote from: "Really Weird Person"See? I do have feelings for more than long songs and Daisy. :lol:
I always had suspicions that somewhere deep inside you're not that weird :lol:
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Louigi Verona on February 16, 2010, 09:02:20
QuoteFamily losses are not fun to deal with, but, as has been stated multiple times, life goes on.

Yeah, although when you want to share a memory of a close person, you are never suggesting life does not go on. You just want to share this without implying you need advice like "life goes on" since it is not at all about that.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: Louigi Verona on February 16, 2010, 11:05:50
Guys, everybody thanks for responses!

Rxn: there is difference between compassion and weakness. Displaying your feelings (and actually having them) has nothing to do with whether one is weak or strong. It is the way one copes with such feelings is what matters.

Shutting yourself off from these feelings and saying - loosing close people is okay, I'll just move forward since - is one way of handling the situation. Not my way, though.

Not to say that grief is necessarily a dark feeling too, filled with feeling sorry for yourself or another person. Grief for another person can be very warm sadness. In fact, I think this is extremely important as life experience. Facing our mortality is one of the main, key characteristics of human existence. The way we face it is a lot who we are or who we try to be.
Title: Loosing a close person
Post by: residentgrey on February 19, 2010, 04:45:56
I miss my cats and my grandfather. Nuff said.